That is just a weird title for a post, but I couldn’t come up with anything better so there it is. I wanted to write about something that I have thought about over the past couple of months since having baby Capri. I wanted to write about how my perspective of my body has changed. When I got pregnant I knew that my view of my body would inevitably be altered, that I would be amazed at all it could do to grow a tiny human and then of course push that tiny human out of me. And that was amazing. Even though I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy, I was amazed that there was a little person inside of me. The process of giving birth, now that I’ve had time to reflect on it, was also incredible. My body did and felt things it never had before and I had more strength and stamina in me than I knew prior to that experience. All those things were amazing and gave me a heightened respect and awareness of my body, but there is something else.
A perspective change that I hadn’t anticipated was at the fringes of my thoughts while pregnant but now that I’m no longer with child, I can see it very clearly. I had always taken my body for granted and never appreciated my health or strength. I’m not a particularly fit person and even though I want to be someone who works out, I rarely do. However, I’ve been blessed by pretty good health over the years and I had come to expect my body to be able to do pretty much anything I asked of it. While pregnant, especially nearing the end of my pregnancy, it was clear that my body was not my own and it wouldn’t or couldn’t do everything that it used to do and that frustrated me to no end. Now I think I appreciate my body so much more. It’s the little things like running up and down the stairs or moving heavy objects that I actually find a little bit of inner joy in now. It makes me feel stronger when I do those things because I think back to the time when I couldn’t.
All that to say, I’ve taken my health and body for granted. I love that my body will do what I tell it to do now. There are things about pregnancy that have changed my body and sometimes they bother me…my hips do not seem to be in the same place that they used to be and I scowl at my stretch marks every morning in the mirror, but my body had a baby and now I can do the things I used to again – I’m thankful.